Saturday, June 13, 2009

Advice For Ivy Cat

My new favorite blog is 500 Pieces of Prudent Advice For My Baby Daughter (thanks for the link, Taryn!) I pretty much agree with every single one (except for #76 and #87. Cuz I think chopping off your hair—even impulsively—can be awesome; and as we all know, not every lady needs a bra) and I love the author's (one Jamie Morrison Curtis) inclusion of art + poetry + quotes. Reading it made me weep (especially #19) and think (#63, #44) and smile (#72, #43) and nod in agreement (#82, #31) and it also reminded me that, a few months ago, I started my own list of advice for my daughter.

So here is my list, and I am blatantly copying Jamie by including accompanying images. It's so overwhelming and amazing and wild to think about what we can and will teach her—and what she can and will teach us. And also—please feel free to add your advice! Even though I like to act like it, I don't know everything.


ADVICE FOR IVY CAT

Little Creature, you will always be so small and so huge at the same time; this mirrors our world, which is a giant tiny place.

Everything you do matters; everything you touch feels it.

Not everything has a beginning, middle, and end, even though we often want this to be the case.

Trust + honor women. "Feminism" is not a dirty word. (Your mom's one.)


Judy Chicago, The Dinner Party

It is fun to go very very fast and very very slow. To bounce off the walls and lay quite still.

Know your histories, both personal and familial, as well as cultural and political. You come from complex, fascinating people: farmers, ranchers, beer makers, car salesmen, engineers, teachers, artists, writers, musicians, hippies.

You also come from a troubled yet wonderful nation. Learn about the good and the bad.


Your dad met the President!


Kara Walker, Slavery! Slavery! Slavery!

Record yourself talking for hours on end. Read, make up stories, interview yourself. You are unbelievably interesting.

If you fight for anything, fight for justice, for love, and for your rights.



Sliced peaches in a baking dish; add brown sugar, butter, cinnamon. Bake and eat with ice cream.

Be mindful during your rebellions.

Any open space can be a million different things

If you capture an insect, place it kindly in a jar; use a hammer and nail to make holes in the metal lid. Provide sticks and leaves and put it on your windowsill. Spend a hour or so watching it move its strange fuzzy body up and down the stick. Then let it go. Always let it go..


Louise Bourgeois, Spider

Listen to any and all kinds of music. Then make your own.

Run races with anyone willing. Feel so so fast.

Try very hard to not hold grudges, and to not sever ties with those you love. It's almost never worth it. Forgiveness is hard, but so so important.

People older than you have many stories to tell you. Please listen to them; they have much to teach you, and when you’re their age, you’ll want younger ones to listen to you.


Imogen Cunningham, Imogen Cunningham and Twinka

Write your name in secret hidden places.

Make grand pies from mud, and entire cities from sand.

Be a careful and kind friend to animals, even the ones that bite. But try not to get bitten.

Read everything you see that has words on it. Cereal boxes, street signs, instruction manuals, newspapers, recipes. You will eventually understand (most of) it.

Many of the best ideas, artworks, songs, poems, and concepts are the result of experimentation. Take risks, allow for error, do things no one else is doing.


Pablo Picasso, Gertrude Stein

Learn which secrets are good to keep, and which ones you should let go. Some secrets are special and just for you; others are meant to be shared, and can make you feel funny if you hold them in for too long.

Always, always stand up for yourself. Even when the person before you is a powerful grown-up. This includes me, and your father, and your grandparents, and your teachers. You will not always win, or get to do what you want, but you should always say what you believe is right.

I totally support your right to protest—just be smart and alert. Don't go alone, and know where the cops are.




Every season is exciting. Fall has crunchy leaves, crisp air, good smells, and school again. Winter is cozy and Christmas and sometimes iced over water. Spring brings baseball and flowers and warm dirt and flowers. And summer is…well, summer is just magic.


Frida Kahlo, Viva La Vida

Know what you like, and what you don’t, but always try new things. Like food. It’s important to try new foods. I didn’t like eggs until just a few years ago, and I’m still working on cheddar cheese. (I still don’t like baby corn, though.)

If you are going to talk about someone, think to yourself: Would I say this if he or she were in the room? If not, it’s probably better left unsaid.

Kids can be cruel; this is a fact. But you don’t have to be; this is also a fact.

Play lots and lots of dress-up. You can be anyone you want with a few scarves, some grown-up jewelry, and a big box of old clothes.


Amy Cutler, Dinner Party

If you stay in the bath too long, you’ll get prune hands, but you’ll also have fun.

You’re beautiful like birds taking flight across a February sky. Like clear winter sun on somebody’s shoulder; a grey cat stretched across a sofa; tiny budding flowers. A gentle nap on the day that I learned that you’re you. Beautiful like the visions we have of your future.

And really, darling, all you need is love.


4 comments:

Leah said...

I recall being in your backyard with you as a kid. You wanted to make mud pies. I had zero interest. Make mud pies Ivy!

badlilmama said...

love this. love it. thanks for sharing.

BenBirdy1 said...

beautiful. so beautiful.

thinking of you--you of the gorgeous smile, the gorgeous baby belly. sending love and joy your way!

xo

Meg said...

Damn you, you'd think I was the pregnant! In tears over here Katie Kate.