I spent last night—wild Saturday night—on the couch with that damn Bella Cullen (nee Swan) and her irritating vampires travails. I’m on the fourth book of the Twilight “saga”, and feel compelled to finish because, shit, I need to know if the girl goes immortal or not. Louisa warned me of some strange and questionable happenings in this book, and I was definitely not expecting the fragile and wimpy Bella to seduce her new 300-year old husband on their romantic island honeymoon and then get knocked up by a succubus/incubus (we don’t yet know the sex) that is like draining the life from her. Yet she loves her baby, loves feeling it “nudge” her from within, and she valiantly resists the aborting desires of everyone around her (these books are Mormon morality tales masking as sexy teen vamp stories). That’s as far as I got—page 208—and then I went to bed.
Coincidentally (or not) yesterday was also the day that I realized I could see my belly moving when she kicks. And it was also the day when Jason was really able to feel big, obvious movements, not just tiny flicks and flutters. Serious thumps and jolts. His hand on my belly waiting and I don’t have to say to him There, did you feel that? And him vaguely nodding, I think so. Now we both feel it, and grin, and say hello back.
Before we went to sleep he asked whether I feel her movements in my dreams—Not yet I said, and then I went to sleep.
And then of course I had a totally intense dream about my tiny moving bulging succubus. I was in a body of water with Erica, one of my kickboxing instructors, and I was supposed to do some sort of competitive diving exercise—there was a treasure at the bottom of this ocean-that-then-became-a-pool, and she towed me around on a Wave Runner until we reached the edge of the pool and she was giving me instructions and the baby began to move in this intense way, where I could feel her as this huge ball in my belly, and it was poking out and moving so intensely and really kind of going nuts. I was afraid to look down or touch it, because I was afraid that I would see her, that her shape and form would be terrifyingly recognizable. It felt dangerous but not threatening—I wasn’t panicked, but I did wonder if diving to the bottom of the huge pool was OK, if it would be too much pressure. I told Erica that my baby was kicking a lot, and didn’t mention anything more.
And then my roiling succubus and I tried to dive to the bottom of the pool to retrieve green belts with small attached treasures. But I was unable to get to the bottom, and I don’t recall what happened after that.
I think she knows that I’m writing about her—she’s thumping me as I type, like Hello, I’m right here! I know you’re writing about me!
Sorry kid. I’m probably always going to be writing about you. And I'm sorry to refer to you as a succubus---you're totally not a succubus. It was just a dream.
Coincidentally (or not) yesterday was also the day that I realized I could see my belly moving when she kicks. And it was also the day when Jason was really able to feel big, obvious movements, not just tiny flicks and flutters. Serious thumps and jolts. His hand on my belly waiting and I don’t have to say to him There, did you feel that? And him vaguely nodding, I think so. Now we both feel it, and grin, and say hello back.
Before we went to sleep he asked whether I feel her movements in my dreams—Not yet I said, and then I went to sleep.
And then of course I had a totally intense dream about my tiny moving bulging succubus. I was in a body of water with Erica, one of my kickboxing instructors, and I was supposed to do some sort of competitive diving exercise—there was a treasure at the bottom of this ocean-that-then-became-a-pool, and she towed me around on a Wave Runner until we reached the edge of the pool and she was giving me instructions and the baby began to move in this intense way, where I could feel her as this huge ball in my belly, and it was poking out and moving so intensely and really kind of going nuts. I was afraid to look down or touch it, because I was afraid that I would see her, that her shape and form would be terrifyingly recognizable. It felt dangerous but not threatening—I wasn’t panicked, but I did wonder if diving to the bottom of the huge pool was OK, if it would be too much pressure. I told Erica that my baby was kicking a lot, and didn’t mention anything more.
And then my roiling succubus and I tried to dive to the bottom of the pool to retrieve green belts with small attached treasures. But I was unable to get to the bottom, and I don’t recall what happened after that.
I think she knows that I’m writing about her—she’s thumping me as I type, like Hello, I’m right here! I know you’re writing about me!
Sorry kid. I’m probably always going to be writing about you. And I'm sorry to refer to you as a succubus---you're totally not a succubus. It was just a dream.
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